Helplessness and Self Esteem

Everyone, even those with high levels of self esteem, can feel overwhelmed. There are situations in which none of us could ever feel completely comfortable and there are times when problems in our life seem almost insurmountable. Life is complicated and things do get bad. Having a healthy level of self esteem makes tough times more bearable, but in order to get there it is important to break the bad habits that have left us feeling low or insignificant.

So, in a world where everything seems to be going wrong, how can one possibly hope to develop the kind of self esteem necessary to weather the storm and to make personal progress? The answer lies in understanding both one's potential and inherent human limitations. Recognizing that we can change much of what happens in our life while understanding we cannot repair everything will help in the development of self esteem.

There's a prayer that says, "...grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." Even if you aren't a religious person, the message is powerful.

If you become focused on the things that are out of your control, you will continue to feel limited and helpless. That helplessness habit is one of the strongest causes of low self esteem. Recognizing that your sphere of influence is limited to those events you can directly influence empowers you to focus on positive actions instead of feeling overwhelmed.

That recognition of limitation must be combined with an understanding of your abilities to influence those events in which you do have a hand. Often, that realization comes as one "let's go" of the factors outside of their control. In other cases, it requires a more concerted effort and a continued emphasis on breaking the bad habits that led to low self esteem.

Breaking bad habits is the antidote for low self esteem. One of the best ways to break through and to experience personal progress is to break the habit of helplessness by learning to accept that some things are out of your control and that you can have a huge influence on the rest!