Hearing the Positive to Battle Low Self Esteem

Those who suffer from low self esteem often feel that no one has anything nice to say about them. Alternatively, they may occasionally hear a compliment, but write it off as misplaced or an act of pity. When we don't feel as though we have a great deal of value, we simply stop hearing messages to the contrary.

It's actually pretty amazing. A person with self esteem may receive many compliments or a great deal of praise every day without even knowing it. It is as if the low self esteem prevents them from actually hearing or processing the information.

We've discussed how giving oneself praise is a great way to defeat the negative habits that limit self esteem. Messages from oneself will always be more powerful than those from others, but votes of confidence from the outside can be used to help improve one's sense of self-worth. Thus, hearing the positive remarks of others is a good way to help battle low self esteem.

How do you overcome the "filter" that prevents us from hearing the positive? First, come back to the idea of habits. Your habits have created barriers to self esteem development and only by consciously confronting and replacing those habits can you begin to feel better about yourself.

That means that every time you hear someone say something good about you, congratulate you, or make some other kind overture toward you, you need to grab it consciously. One great technique is to write those incidents down in a notepad as they happen (those with low self esteem usually let those remarks and their power vanish into the ether quickly). Later, go back to them and read them. Recognize that whether you are yet ready to believe fully in your own potential or not, that others already do. Understand that other people can see the positive in you and are willing to celebrate it.

That understanding will help you feel better about yourself. It will also, over time, help break down the filter that keeps those with low self-esteem from fully recognizing just how wonderful they truly are.

The inability, or unwillingness, to hear the positive is a bad habit and breaking it can improve self esteem tremendously!